For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My penis needs a shock collar
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
