I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
