My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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