remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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