Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
