I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
