My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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