Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Someone signed my nipple.
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