Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
