worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
