Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize