super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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