so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
