She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
