Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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