i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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