I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want to make out with him forever
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
