Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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