He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
