Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
These tits shall not be calmed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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