my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize