OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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