If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
