he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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