You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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