Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
