yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
