I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize