Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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