know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
