Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
