dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
