Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
