Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
