Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
