Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
