It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This is the high leading the old right now
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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