even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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