remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
