i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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