he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
how does that bad decision feel?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
