I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it hurts more in the daytime
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
