Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize