i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just googled if crying burns calories
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shame - the story of my life.
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