Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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