it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
