it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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