susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My ass is underappreciated
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
