If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
