after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I intend to get homeless drunk
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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