Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
