She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
