I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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