he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
