so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
