I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
