She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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