There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
