i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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