I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
